Pinnacle Security is recruiting Mormon Missionaries for their Door-to-Door sales force. The article linked below is an interesting read.
Managers at Pinnacle Security, founded in 2001 by a student at Brigham Young University, the Mormon Church-owned school, say missionaries simply have the right stuff. Many speak foreign languages learned in the mission field. All have thick skins from dealing with the negative responses that a missionary armed with a Book of Mormon and a smile can receive.
A while back my cousin Tim was kind enough to provide me with some music education. I thought I would pass this along to the blog-o-sphere so others could benefit from this knowledge. So, with no further delay, I bring you "How To Sing The Blues - A Primer"
Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
"I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, And she weighs 500 pounds."
The Blues is not about choice. You're stuck in a ditch, you're stuck in a ditch - ain't no way out.
Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train, blues NEVER go on the northbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause an alligator be chomping on it is.
You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
Good places for the Blues: a. highway b. jailhouse. Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom b. gallery openings c. Ivy League institutions d. golf courses
No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it for the last 6 months.
Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if: a. you're older than dirt b. you're blind c. you shot a man in Memphis. Not if: a. you have all your teeth b. you were once blind but can see c. the man in Memphis lived d. you have a 401K or trust fund now
Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got leg up on the blues.
If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. muddy water b. nasty black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a. Perrier b. Chardonnay c. Snapple d. Slim Fast
If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
Some Blues names for women: a. Sadie b. Big Mama c. Bessie d. Fat River Dumpling
Some Blues names for men: a. Joe b. Willie c. Little Willie d. Big Willie
Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
"Make your own Blues Name" Starter Kit: a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.) b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.) c. last name of a President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues. If you are reading this on a computer - maybe you cannot sing the Blues - but you sure can listen to it…
Breakpoint did a review of the new Pixar movie UP in their commentary today. Sounds like a great movie to take the family to.
In recent years, Disney’s Pixar Studios has been something of a godsend for parents looking for wholesome, high-quality entertainment. With great films like WALL-E, The Incredibles, and many more, Pixar has provided family films with heart, films that tell genuinely good stories and avoid the crassness that’s so prevalent in many children’s films today. And their films, without being “message movies,” usually provide plenty of food for thought for both kids and adults.
How many teams does it take to play a baseball game? I know most readers would say two (and some would say, "what is baseball"), but would you believe there was once a game between 3 teams?
1944: Baseball supports the war effort with an unusual exhibition game at the Polo Grounds. Presented by the War Bond Sports committee in connection with the Fifth War Loan, the game among the Dodgers, Giants and Yankees swells New York’s quota in the current bond drive by $56.5 million.
The crowd of 50,000 contributes $5.5 million to attend, while the Bond Clothing Co. pays $1 million in bonds for an autographed program. The overwhelming majority of the money comes from the city of New York, with Mayor Fiorello La Guardia purchasing $50 million worth of bonds.
As for the game, each team bats six times, plays defense six times, and watches six times in the nine-inning game. It takes a professor of mathematics at Columbia to figure out how to accomplish this. The Dodgers win the three-cornered game with five runs, while the Yankees score one run and the Giants are shut out.
Okay, I am not a big fan of many of the things President Obama is doing. That being said, I do like how he is able to connect to people so well. Yesterday in Green Bay, WI he became aware that a 10-yr-old student was skipping school to attend a town hall meeting. Watch the video below to see what happened...
Pinnacle Security is recruiting Mormon Missionaries for their Door-to-Door sales force. The article linked below is an interesting read.
