Thursday, June 25, 2009

You Might Want Cash for Your Clunker If...

The Cash for Clunkers program passed Congress last week, providing rebates for people who trade in old cars and purchase new fuel-efficient vehicles. Participants can receive vouchers worth as much as $4500. Of course, we’re advocates of DIY mechanics—car owners who tinker with their vehicles until the car’s last faint, faltering breath. This is the truly economical (and environmentally friendly) way to treat vehicles. A true clunker, by this reasoning, is one that is beyond even our capable hands. Here, then, is how to tell if your beater is a real clunker—beyond help and ready for a government bailout.
  • It’s wearing three (or more) different sizes of tire.
  • Your bowling ball keeps falling out of the trunk, even when the trunk lid is closed.
  • You need to add oil more often than you need to add gas.
  • Dogs don’t bark and chase after it.
  • You can only get country and western stations on the radio.
  • There are mushrooms growing out of the rear-seat carpeting.
  • You’ve gotten in the habit of leaving the jumper cables permanently attached to your battery.
  • There’s more than one bumper sticker holding the rear bumper to the car.
  • The color listed on the title is “Duct Tape.”
  • Your pine-tree air freshener is a twig from an actual pine tree.
  • When your CHECK ENGINE light comes on, you know from experience that you need to actually check to see if your engine is still there.
  • Your ignition key also works in your lawn tractor.
  • Driver’s seat upholstery is for sissies.
  • Your seatbelts are made from leather.
  • Your make, year and model isn’t even listed in the Blue Book.
  • Your teenager doesn’t want to install an iPod dock.
  • Your dog hides in the back seat instead of sticking his head out of the open window.
  • Parking valets tip you to park it.
  • Yugo drivers flip you off.
  • You never throw out a clothes hanger; you might need it to hold up your tailpipe.
Link To Article Here

No comments:

Post a Comment